those of you that know the diva know that i’m horrible at dating…i avoid it like the plague…well, in hopes of growing into an even better person than i already am i decided to lift my ban on dating to include more “non-dates.”

if you’re unsure of a non-date then let me define it for you…a non date is when you go out with a member of the opposite sex but in your mind it’s not really a date.  you might not consider it a date for a number of reasons…reason #1, you’re not romantically interested, reason #2, one of you just recently got out of a serious relationship, reason #3, the chosen location is not a place you would ever consider a real date…the list can go on but i think you get the point…

very quickly let me fill you in on my most recent non-date…i go out with a gentleman i’ve known casually for some time…i consider this a non-date for a number of reasons but he cements this fact when he picks me up for the non-date with a third party already in the car…hmm, drop my off at the nearest train or cab is my first thought BUT then i hear all of my girls saying give it a shot…we finally drop off the third party and attempt to find a spot where we can get drinks and food mid-afternoon…

a few minutes into the drive and we start talking about baby mama drama…i’m thinking since we know each other he feels comfortable divulging information that shouldn’t be discussed on a first date or non-date…and i let it slide…

after not finding anywhere upscale we end up at applebee’s…boo for a non-date but i do love me applebee’s so i’m not hailing a cab…good conversation…good drinks…just enough time that i can make non-date #2 of the night and we’re back in the car…

now i’m being rude and texting to my homegirl (who happens to know the non-date i’m with through a mutual person) and she drops the bombshell on me that he is MARRIED!!! now you would think this would come up somewhere in the conversation of the last 3 hours…

ladies and gentlemen…i am home, showered, dressed to head out to the next non-date and i still should be believing that this gentleman is as single as me…now, you might say my friend is mistaken…nope, she double checked with a reliable source to make sure she wasn’t throwing dirt on the gentleman’s name…looks like he’s doing a good enough job on his own to cover up…smh…

well, i’m off to non date #2…wish me luck…til next time…besos baby!

I wish I could believe you then I’ll be alright
But now everything you told me really don’t apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I haven’t tried to forget this
But I’m much too full of resentment

Just can’t seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don’t know how you gave another who didn’t mean a thing, no
The very thing you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you’ve changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain’t the same
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I haven’t tried to forget this
But I’m much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I’m doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I’m much too full of resentment

I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could
And it’s all because you lied

[Bridge:]
Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
It was sacrificed
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I’m too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first
Been ridin’ with you for six years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what’s up with Bee
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I’m crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn’t happy
I know you didn’t wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me
How could you lie