in my mind i keep starting, then stopping, then re-editing so many different things that i want to post.

what stops me?  only myself.  as my biggest critic in life i continue to stop myself.  why?  maybe because i don’t trust myself as much as others seem to.  or maybe because every time i allow myself to leap without looking i’m the only one around to pick up the pieces.

in no way do i regret my decision to leave my job.  it was possibly the most selfish and healthy thing i have ever done in life.  what i am challenged by is my lack of action plan since.  i’m living in fear of not knowing what i want to do.  yet, i usually pride myself in casting fear aside because i know, trust and believe that my God will see me through anything that He has seen me to.

in no way do i regret loving him for over 5 years even if i can now see how one sided the love really was. what challenges me now is understanding that it is okay to be sad and miss having an almost partner but reminding myself that i am worth a loving, caring, committed man that will cherish & support me in the same way i did him.

i keep waking up so i know that i am blessed and still have a purpose in this world.  what challenges me is learning what that purpose is.

in no way is this what i planned to blog when signing it but let’s be real very rarely does the plan meet the paper.  hopefully this flow will be the beginning of letting go of all that is in my head and heart.  what challenges me is not an absence of content but instead a jumble of ideas, poetry, blogs, books that all wish to tumble forth yet block each other the chance for entry into the world.

i am what challenges me.  i am who wins and loses when i succeed and fail.  i am the one that can tear myself apart.  and i am the one that will rebuild!

til next time.  besos babe!