hmmm, i might have stole that title from a friend…check out  pieces (link on the side)…

it is a new year and i am so HAPPY…2008 was a difficult year for me…it wasn’t bad because i do not allow bad moments in my life…it was difficult though…i found the need to find a new job and let go of a love that i saw as my everything…i felt lost and alone…i cried and i cried and then i cried some more…i prayed and i prayed and then i prayed some more…i had a billion questions and only received a million answers…i walked away from making more in a week than some people make in a month but i survived…by God’s graces i made it  to 2009…

i’m not sure who really reads this blog and that in itself sometimes gets me to censor what i’m thinking…tonight though, the first full night of 2009 i don’t believe in censorship…i’m going to be more honest than i’ve even been to myself lately…

I AM SCARED!!!

i’m scared that my happily ever after doesn’t exist…i’m scared that i’m broken in a way that can’t be fixed…i’m scared that i have lost the  one person God designed to be my match…i’m scared that i will never be all that i can be…(damn, that sounded like an army commercial)…i’m scared that while playing so many parts for so many people that i have lost whoever i am really meant to be…i’m scared that i won’t be good enough, won’t be smart enough, won’t be pretty enough…

yet, throughout all that fear, i know that i am GOOD enough…God made it a point to see that i was born…He made it a point to see that i survived…and trust me, i have survived…in more ways then you will ever imagine…i was a survivor before destiny’s child made it cool to be one…

i have survived and i will survive and 2009 will bring me joy…it will bring me happiness…it will bring me success…it will bring me love…and it will bring me understanding…

till next time…besos babe!