i was having a comfy couch session with one of my favorite blackberry buddies and she said one of the most profound statements about love that i have ever heard and i thought i would share it with all of you…

“He LOVES her with all he has but NOT with all she needs.”

let it sit for a second. now re-read it.

“He loves her with all he has but not with all she needs.”

what do you do when the love you give to your partner just isn’t enough to keep your partner reassured, secure and confident in your relationship? what happens when you know your partner loves you but yet you’re still feeling as if you don’t get all that you need and desire?  how do you tell the person that is giving you all that he or she has to give that you need more?  is that being selfish or it is being honest?  where exactly is the line drawn?

i’m an overachiever in life and in love.  when i care about a person i put my entire being into the relationship.  i’m that chick that sets the standard that very few others ever come close to meeting.  just ask any man that i have ever been in a relationship with.  actually, just ask my friends.  it is very understandable to me why so many girlfriends don’t like me.  i want those in my universe be it romantic, platonic or familial to know just how much i value and appreciate them.  does that mean that i’ll always be able to love my partner the way he needs to be loved?  not at all.  that just means that i will always give him my best.

i have had men in my life that have loved me with their everything.  those of you that are consistent readers know that i have been blessed to find good men that have taught me lessons and have helped me to become the woman i am today.  still, sometimes their all has not been good enough.  sometimes even when these men have loved me unconditionally just for being me i have still felt insecure, unsure, and unsatisfied in the relationships.

is anyone at fault?  is it the fault of the person that can’t love the way their partner needs them to love?  is it the fault of the partner who is asking for a love that cannot be given?  or is it like i told another friend recently, there is no wrong in love?  sometimes things just don’t work out the way we want them to?

we all deserve to find an all consuming, head over heels, unconditional, shout it from the rooftops, run home to tell mama about love.  and when it comes know that it won’t always be easy.  the balance of love might shift at times.  there might come a time when you can’t give your partner all that he/she needs and there also might come a time when he/she won’t be able to give you all that you need.  the question is what will you do about it when the time comes?  will you stay in the relationship and hope that needs get met somewhere along the line?  will you throw in the towel and cut your losses?  will you even talk about it?

til next time…besos babe…

this is the first summer in almost two years that i have time.  time on the weekends.  time during the week.  and what have i been doing??? absolutely nothing!  ok, that isn’t really true but i do feel that i haven’t been using my time wisely.  how does one get out of a rut?  how does one wake up and decide that enough really is enough and that today is the day that i will tap into my greatness?  i guess just by doing that.  waking up in the morning and smiling because the Lord has blessed me with another beautiful day and rather than letting it waste embracing each and every beautiful, breathtaking moment.that’s what i’m going to  do right now.  seize the moment and go out and enjoy the day that i have been given.