so…the Diva will put a disclaimer on this that i am very old fashion when it comes to certain subjects and marriage is one of those…

i’m a tabloid whore. i adore reading about what people are wearing and where they are going. what i don’t adore reading about are break ups. or at least divorces. break ups can be funny and interesting depending on how the couple and their circle handle it. divorces simply remind me how quick our society is to take the easy out.

now i don’t really believe in happily ever afters even though i’m keeping my fingers crossed hoping that i will experience one but i don’t believe in looking for the easy way out. i believe when you take vows to commit yourself to another under God and infront of friends and family one should take it seriously. there should be no plan for an escape route.

just weeks after shaq & shawnie announced they were divorcing his teammate d. wade and his high school sweetheart are heading to splitsville too. don’t these couples realize that just because you can go to court and get a divorce that doesn’t mean you should.

i’m not really sure what happened with wade & the lil woman but i don’t understand how after years of dealing with infidelity something could now cause shaq & his shorty to split. i’m hearing she might have stepped out with her personal trainer for a different type of “work out” and shaq found out. guess he forgot about all of the dirt he was doing. i’m not saying that two wrongs make a right but doesn’t it mean we could find a way to work things out.

do they stop loving each other? do they stop liking each other? do they not consider what a divorce will do to their children? why is it that generations ago people would be married for decades and now they can barely stay married for days? its rather depressing…

when the Diva gets married it will be for keeps. i have never thought of divorce as an option. if i feel that connected to a man and have made the decision to stand before our community and God then guess what i am doing whatever it takes to make it work…

til next time…besos babe!

i’m sitting awake at 2:02am looking at the clock thinking…hmmm, its a palindrome. yea, i’m random like that. i really did stop and wonder though if i should make a wish before the time changed but then the seconds slipped into a new minute and it was too late. it’s kewl though because i’m not sure what i would have wished for. see, i know the genie rules. no wishing for love, more wishes or bringing someone back from the dead. i’ve watched aladin enough to know that part by heart its kind of funny because when i logged in i didn’t expect to be sitting here typing about genies, wishes and palindromes. (if you’re not sure what a palindrome is check out dictionary.com…this isn’t a vocabulary lesson tonight)

when i signed in i did so because i felt called to my computer. i hadn’t planned on writing tonight. in fact my night was over in my book. i was ready for slumber to take over and welcome a new dawn. guess something else was in the cards for me. let me rewind a lil bit.

lately i haven’t been sleeping that well and waking up feeling exhausted. the best sleep i’ve gotten lately has come in the form of naps. hmmm, tangent…have you ever played help tag? you know the one where one person starts as “it” and they tag someone and instead the tagged person taking the original “it”s place they become the “it” team. i ask because i just realized where my sleep issues stem from. a few weeks ago, maybe a week or so before i began having my sleep deprivation a friend of mine shared that he was having sleep issues…i think he somehow transferred them to me creating some type of insomniac tag.

i think life is sort of like help tag. think about it. we constantly pass moods, desires, values, fears, passions, likes and dislikes to members of our “inner circles.” part of what makes our circles work are the bonds we share and the ability to relate.

i spent the earlier part of the night sharing my likes and dislikes of the MTV VMAs with a friend of mine as we watched the show. other than a few outfits i can say that i believe MTV owes me 3 hours of my life back. maybe that’s why i can’t sleep tonight. maybe i am trying to recapture some of what i could have done with my time.

after the awards were over i spent time talking with another friend going over tonight’s chapter of the purpose driven life. (if you’re looking for your purpose i suggest you pick this book up.) as always the chapter sparked discussion that got me to thinking about where my life is going and what messages i’ve been ignoring.

i feel like there is so much i have been put here to do and i’m really ready to start doing it. i feel like i’ve been stuck in place for a while. kind of moving in slow motion with my life. not really going here or there. think that’s over with now. think i’m ready to move forward because we all know there’s no elevation by moving backwards. we must never forget where we come from but like sidney poitier said “you don’t have to be someone you’re not to be better than you were.” i’m really working on becoming a better me.

i know what i want in life and i need to stop being afraid to go out and grab it. God didn’t give us fear so i need to stop hiding behind it. when i logged in i wanted to write about the buttefly effect. no, not the movie. the idea that something that happens around the world no matter how small can have a ripple effect on something happening here and now.

then i thought i might write about how small each of our worlds really are. that idea came as i looked out my window while laying in bed with my macbook on my lap. the diva’s bed faces my windows where i never remember to put down my shades. when i looked out the window i noticed that there’s a light on in the brownstone across the street. it wasn’t until i saw this light on that i realized that i have no idea who lives there or what they would be doing up at now 2:32am (another palindrome) then i started thinking why is that? i’ve lived here for over 3 years and i couldn’t tell you 10 things about any of my neighbors. now, honestly, this doesn’t bother me much. i have my own life and they have their own lives but i guess that’s the point. we live yards from each other but in reality we could be oceans apart because on a daily we don’t interact, which in a sense takes us back to the butterfly effect.

even though we don’t speak or interact our actions can have an effect on each other’s lives as well as the lives of others. example, i occassionally have friends over for food and fun. the diva’s den is a popular meeting ground amongst my friends. so let’s use this as food for thought. it’s the evening of one of my diva dinners. a guest arrives and parks on my block near my home. i don’t drive so i don’t normally take up a parking spot. tonight because i invited someone over there is one less spot on the block. now one of the neighbors (maybe the one currently awake across the street) gets home from work. they usually park where my guest has parked. (their life has already been affected!) so now they go and find a new parking spot. while they’re searching they miss the ups man making a delivery to their home. (more butterflies) the ups man decides to leave the package somewhere else on the block and knocks on the door of another neighbor. (one more person being affected) the neighbor answers leaving their cell phone in the house and greets the ups man and agrees to hold the package. while outside the neighbor’s cell phone rings (more butterflies) do we get the picture yet. the neighbor missed a call (which we could continue this game forever with) that was caused by me having company! sounds a lil wild but think about it, that is how the world works.

okay, i already told one of my girl’s that i had no idea what i was writing about when she asked what tonight’s topic was and i’m thinking i should probably stop typing before i get any more randm than i already am…guess its a good thing that i have a random thoughts section…lol

til next time…besos babe!