Not sure I would have it any other way.  Anyway being on such a limited time schedule means I didn’t get to blog about my day 4 gift.  Saturdays become days where I either have a lot to do and I’m steady on the move OR a day where I’m practically comatose.  Yesterday was kind of a mix of both.  I woke up and had errands to run.  Ended up hanging out with one of my homegirls and got a lil shopping in for fun then came home and was practically a walking zombie.

I could barely remember my name much less how to type a blog.  So that brings me to today where I have 3 days of gifts to catch you up on.  One thing that I’m beginning to realize during this challenge is that my inner fat girl might be the bigger gifter in me because a lot of my gifts seem to pertain to food.

Day 4- Being on such a tight schedule I kept looking for windows where I could gift something.  In the words of my wonderful friend that is doing the challenge with me i hear the tick, tick, ticking of the clock as the day seemed to be slipping away from me without me having any real gift.  Before the second job started I decided to grab a quick bite to eat at the diner next to the club I work on Fridays.  I asked my friend if she would be interested in joining me.  I paid for our soups and got her a tea.  That was my day 4 gift.

Day 5-  As I already stated by the time that I finished everything that I had to do for the day I was a walking zombie.  When I got home I wanted nothing more to do than to go to bed.  I was a lil disappointed in myself because I couldn’t think of anything big that I did that would count as a gift.  When we were out shopping i bought candy (that I knew I didn’t want or plan to eat) from some guy that was selling it on the street.  Figured my niece and cousins would enjoy it on Thanksgiving.  My cousin that I live with was planning to go out and I knew he would be drinking.  I decided to make dinner to ensure that he had a good meal before a long night of drinking.  I also spent some time talking to a good friend of mine that was going through a difficult time and needed to talk.

Day 6-  Today was probably the first day of this challenge where I feel as if my gifts will actually have made a difference.  I went food shopping to get the rest of the things that I needed to cook dinner on Thursday.  While at the market I spent enough to get a free turkey.  I had already bought the bird I plan to cook when I did my first round of shopping the other day.  I asked the cashier to give it to someone that needed it.  I made her promise me that it would go to someone that could really use it.  She seemed shocked but said she would.   I normally give the loose change to the person that packs my bags.  Today I put the loose change in and went to put the 2 singles in my pocket.  Instead thought I put the singles into the “tip jar.”  The woman that was packing my bags seemed so appreciative that I was moved by it.  $2 seemed to make a real difference to this woman.  Now i’m a firm believer that every dollar in my life makes a difference but I also know that those loose singles would have ended up going to junk or put away in my “piggy bank” but this woman made it seem as if those $2 would mean much more to her.

That is what this challenge is supposed to be about.  It’s about making a difference in other people’s lives.  It’s about making a difference in your own life.  I want to be a difference…

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and it is my favorite holiday not only because I have an inner-fat girl that can’t wait to dig into the roast, the turkey and the duck but because it embodies family.  I’m happy that I will be spending time with my family for more than just the day.

I thought that today would be simple.  I planned to pay for lunch for me and my co-worker.  A simple gift of food.  As an inner fat girl this is a gift that I know would be appreciated.  Get this!  When the food was delivered the delivery man had no change so my co-worker ended up buying me lunch!!!

Where does that happen?  Seeing as how I don’t interact with too many people daily it makes it difficult to consciously give to others.  I know that the meaning of this challenge isn’t about scoring points based on the type or size of gifts but I walked into it wanting to make a difference and now I’m done with day two and I’m not really feeling as if I have made a difference.

My day 2 gift was to finally remember to make my bff keys to my house.  She has had keys to my home since I moved out of my mother’s house (and probably had a set to my mom’s when I was living there).  I moved to a new apartment about two months ago and just haven’t made time to get her new keys.  I keep saying that I will and then getting caught up in the daily here and theres of life and not getting them done.

This evening on my way home from work I made it a point to go to the hardware store and get her a set made.  It is something very small and on a normal day I probably wouldn’t even consider a gift but seeing as how I don’t want to fail day two of the challenge I will count it today.

I recently had a friend laugh because she said she liked a new pair of shoes I had and I asked what size she wore.  She asked me why I asked and I said because if we wear the same size you can have them and I’ll just get another pair.  She told me that I’m crazy but that’s the daughter that my mother raised.

Being this person I thought ha! 29 days of giving should be a cinch.  Then I walked through my day and couldn’t figure out anything to give to anyone.  I wanted to share lunch with my co-worker and she wasn’t hungry.  There didn’t seem to be any real chance to GIVE.

I came home and thought on it and decided that maybe I did give a gift today.  My boss works overnight on Mondays.  He got into the office around the same time as I did this morning and we chit chatted for a few.  I asked him why he didn’t just go to bed instead of working for the day.  He said he had two conference calls and would probably head to bed after them.

I went into his office to get something and saw him asleep at his desk.  It was a few minutes after his first conference call was supposed to begin.  I woke him up and reminded him about it.  After a few moments he got it together and was able to get on the call before missing anything important.

That was my gift for Day 1.  Do you think it counts???

Recently, Sofia posted a link to something called the 29 Day Giving Challenge.  I followed the link and was intrigued.  It seemed to be just the thing I was looking for.  I get a lil bit bah humbuggish come the holiday season because I feel as if people get so caught up in the commercialism that they miss the true meaning.  This challenge seems to be just the thing to remind me how important it is to give and not just because Santa at Macy’s says so.

I brought the idea up to a few people and I had two friends decide to join me in the challenge.  I’m so excited.  This is pay ing it forward at work!

Please check out the website and sign-up…or participate without signing up as one of my team decided to do.  Either way don’t miss your chance to join in.  Let me know when you do!  This is what this season is really about…

either way, i was fortunate enough and blessed to WAKE UP.

waking up from being lost is kind of like waking up from that deep sleep when you jump out of bed and have so much energy but at the same time you’re not quite right because you’re still dazed and confused.  i’m working through that confusion now.  trying to piece together what is real and what is not.  trying to decipher fact from fiction and turning right around and realizing it doesn’t really matter what was real because it is all over.

i’m seeing some of the woman i left behind trying to be someone that was smarter, prettier, more what he might have wanted. now i’m going to need to get focused on being who i want to be.

who do i want to be? what do i want? most people know the answer to those questions when they’re a child. i just turned 31.  i’m still struggling with the answers.  but now rather than fearing them i am excited by them.

last night i had friends over to the diva’s den for game night…we played, scrabble slam, trivial pursuit and taboo…had drinks, ate some food, laughed, learned and just plain had a good old time…the crazy thing was many of the people that showed up didn’t know each other which might have made for an awkward event except that the people in my world are amazing…

we can be called selfish, shallow, materialistic, judgmental, snobbish “plastics” but at the end of the day if you come with good intentions and good energy than we will welcome you…even when people are having underlying issues with someone else in the group we do not bring it to the forefront and ask people to choose sides…we live, learn and let each other simply be…

i realized that this in itself is simply breathtaking…my friends are so different and bring so many different cultures, beliefs, values, styles and upbringings…this morning i had a discussion with one of the amazing women in my life and told her that i believe relative are people you’re born with a blood connection but your true family are the people you choose to have in your life…

i love my family…

til next time…besos babe!

Click here to view the embedded video.

i know soooooooooooooo many beautiful, intelligent, educated (yes, there is a difference), cultured, diverse women and when we all sit down we still become those insecure 7th graders worrying if the cute boy in our 3rd period knows we exist. 

it’s so silly because while we’re quick to take on the world and push through glass ceilings and make room for ourselves in the boys only clubs of too many professions with nothing but the knowledge that we are worthwhile a lot of us lose that courage when it comes to our love lives.

so i’m here to make a toast to the ladies willing to brave the cafeteria to sit next to the cutie from 3rd period and pass him the note that says “do you like me? pls check yes, no or maybe”

if you’re unsure of a non-date then let me define it for you…a non date is when you go out with a member of the opposite sex but in your mind it’s not really a date.  you might not consider it a date for a number of reasons…reason #1, you’re not romantically interested, reason #2, one of you just recently got out of a serious relationship, reason #3, the chosen location is not a place you would ever consider a real date…the list can go on but i think you get the point…

very quickly let me fill you in on my most recent non-date…i go out with a gentleman i’ve known casually for some time…i consider this a non-date for a number of reasons but he cements this fact when he picks me up for the non-date with a third party already in the car…hmm, drop my off at the nearest train or cab is my first thought BUT then i hear all of my girls saying give it a shot…we finally drop off the third party and attempt to find a spot where we can get drinks and food mid-afternoon…

a few minutes into the drive and we start talking about baby mama drama…i’m thinking since we know each other he feels comfortable divulging information that shouldn’t be discussed on a first date or non-date…and i let it slide…

after not finding anywhere upscale we end up at applebee’s…boo for a non-date but i do love me applebee’s so i’m not hailing a cab…good conversation…good drinks…just enough time that i can make non-date #2 of the night and we’re back in the car…

now i’m being rude and texting to my homegirl (who happens to know the non-date i’m with through a mutual person) and she drops the bombshell on me that he is MARRIED!!! now you would think this would come up somewhere in the conversation of the last 3 hours…

ladies and gentlemen…i am home, showered, dressed to head out to the next non-date and i still should be believing that this gentleman is as single as me…now, you might say my friend is mistaken…nope, she double checked with a reliable source to make sure she wasn’t throwing dirt on the gentleman’s name…looks like he’s doing a good enough job on his own to cover up…smh…

well, i’m off to non date #2…wish me luck…til next time…besos baby!